


Two Cops And A Mountie Walk Into A Piano Bar

by Andraste



Category: due South
Genre: Community: fst, Fanmix, M/M, OT3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-11-10
Updated: 2007-11-10
Packaged: 2017-12-08 06:06:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/757958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andraste/pseuds/Andraste
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A <i>due South</i> OT3 fanmix made for the Fandom Sountrack Project. Available on 8tracks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Cops And A Mountie Walk Into A Piano Bar

**Introduction**

Once upon a time, there was a Mountie named Benton Fraser. For reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture, he was forced to leave his native Northwest Territories and make a new home in a strange land. Fortunately, he had help from his unofficial partner, Chicago cop Ray Vecchio. Later for reasons that _really_ don't need exploring at this juncture, Vecchio had to go away for a while. He was replaced by Stanley Raymond 'Ray' Kowalski. The chronicle of their exploits is _due South_ \- a clever, funny and very slashy cop show. This fanmix is the tale of a Mountie and his Rays.

The notes contain generalized spoilers for the entire series.

[Listen to this fanmix on 8tracks.](http://8tracks.com/draste/two-cops-and-a-mountie-walk-into-a-piano-bar/)

**1\. In A Big Country - Big Country**

_"I uncovered a plot about drowning caribou ...it's actually a very long story that takes exactly two hours to tell."_

Fraser's American exile begins when the investigation of his father's murder leads him to Chicago, with only his deaf wolf Diefenbaker for back up. Seeking the assistance of the local police, he runs across one Detective Raymond Vecchio. Fraser blows Vecchio's cover during an undercover operation, and Ray tactlessly refers to Fraser's case as 'the dead Mountie thing'. After a shaky start, though, they soon become allies and fast friends.

After uncovering a complicated conspiracy involving a dam and lots of dead caribou, Fraser finds himself unwelcome in Canada. He decides to settle in Chicago until things calm down, where his unconventional detection methods and compulsive decency have already made an impact.

**2\. Lungs - Townes Van Zandt**

_"Fraser, this is Chicago. The only reason to open a window is to get a better aim."_

Getting used to the big city isn't always easy for a clean-living Canadian. A lifetime in Chicago has made Vecchio deeply cynical, and he finds Fraser's naivety exasperating. But even though he would never admit it, having the Mountie around is already making him a better cop, and a better man.

**3\. You've Got A Friend - James Taylor**

_A friend is someone who won't stop until he finds you and brings you home._

Real friendship is when you forgive your partner for making you climb in a dumpster, ruining all your suits, and using you as a human shield. Or when you're accidentally locked in a meat freezer together and you lend him your hat. Awwwwwwwwww.

**4\. Pick Yourself Up - Frank Sinatra**

_"When did that come up, Fraser? Were you just sitting around at breakfast and he suddenly came out with it? Or did he, like, run in and wake you up at night when he thought of these things?"_

Fraser and Vecchio would have more than enough to worry about without all the other people who make their lives more complex. Be it relatives, enemies or exes, they have more than their fair share of relationship complications ...

The day before Fraser's first Christmas in Chicago, he gets a shock when his father turns up to advise him on a case. Bob Fraser may be dead, but he's not exactly gone. His spirit hangs around for the rest of the series annoying his son and dispensing advice, usually at the same time.

**5\. Bastard - Ben Folds**

_"I learned two things from my father. One, timing ... Mostly when to duck. And two, you never hit a kid, because it doesn't teach him anything."_

Fraser isn't the only one with Daddy Issues. He's not even the only one with a ghostly version of his father hanging around, although Vecchio Senior is a lot less helpful than Bob. Given that in life he seems to have been an abusive asshole, this is hardly a surprise.

**6\. Woke Up This Morning - Alabama 3 (Acoustic Version)**

_"I didn't say nothing about you being safe."_

Another spectre from Vecchio's past is Frank Zuko, a former schoolmate of Ray's, now a local Mafia boss. After growing up in an Italian-American neighborhood, Vecchio has some serious Mafia Issues. (This is going to be important later on.) He has a chance to get some of his own back when Fraser takes it upon himself to protect a shoemaker targeted by Zuko's protection racket. After beating and humiliating Zuko, Vecchio gets him to call off the hit in order to salvage his reputation.

**7\. I Dreamed I Saw St Augustine - Thea Gilmore**

_"See, this is what's wrong with you, Fraser. You see a problem, you gotta fix it. You can't go to the men's room without stopping to tell some charmingly simple Inuit story that just happens to inspire people to take on the world's social ills."_

While Vecchio is beating the crap out of Mafia dons, Fraser is still trying to make the world a better place one rescued kitten and reunited family at a time. Sometimes it's an uphill battle.

**8\. Drought - Vienna Teng**

_"It snowed for a day and a night and a day. And when I couldn't talk any more, I took her fingers and I put them in my mouth, to keep them warm. I don't remember losing consciousness but I do remember being aware that I was dying. And then I heard her voice. She was reciting a poem, over and over. I couldn't make out the words but I couldn't stop listening. She had the most beautiful voice. It was as though I had known her forever, across a thousand lifetimes."_

For reasons obvious to anyone who has seen Paul Gross, Fraser can barely leave his apartment without women competing to rip his clothes off. The only who ever really got to him, though, is Victoria Metcalfe, a beautiful bank robber he was once trapped in the wilderness with. When they found their way back to civilization, Fraser turned her in, and has regretted it ever since.

When Victoria turns up in Chicago, it briefly looks as though Fraser might have a future with her, but Victoria has plans of her own. By the time she leaves town again, Diefenbaker has been shot and Fraser has almost ruined his life (not to mention Vecchio's) over her.

**9\. I Don't Wanna Talk About it Now - Emmylou Harris**

_"It's easier to think you're in love than to think you're alone."_

While Fraser is going insane over Victoria, Vecchio is mortgaging his house to post bail and standing up to internal affairs to help his friend. And, uh, also shooting him in the back by accident, but nobody's perfect. After it's all over, when Fraser tells Ray he was going to go with her, all Ray says is 'I know'.

**10\. Everyday I Have the Blues - BB King**

_"Look, Fraser, if I had a choice between one of their plans and one of yours, I'd choose theirs, it's probably safer."_

This is not to say that Vecchio is the uncomplaining type. If Fraser has done something to piss Ray off - and it doesn't take much - the world is going to hear all about it. Whether its making him indicate when turning left or making him blow up his beloved Riviera, Ray Vecchio has a rant for every occasion.

**11\. We Trying To Stay Alive - Wyclef Jean**

_"Don't blow the situation out of proportion. There's only 8,973 prisoners here."_

Then there was the time they crashed a plane the the wilderness, and Fraser went blind. And then time they got locked in a bank vault. And the time they were stuck in the middle of a prison riot. Is it any wonder that Vecchio has serious concerns about their mutual sanity and life-expectancy?

**12\. Zip Gun Bop - Royal Crown Revue**

_"We get the side room, he gets the whole joint. He drinks hundred dollar bottles of wine and we get spit. He still runs this neighbourhood. Boy, what I wouldn't give to go another round with him."_

Meanwhile, Frank Zuko is still an important figure in the local Mafia, to Vecchio's disgust. Things heat up when Zuko's sister Irene, who also happens to be Ray's old flame, arrives back in town. Vecchio should know better than to push his enemy too far, but sometimes he has to learn the hard way.

**13\. If I Could Start Today Again - Paul Kelly**

_"You know, the first time I ever asked her to dance was in PE class. She kept trying to lead. Finally I had to ask her to ... to relax. That it would be okay. Just put your head on my shoulder and close your eyes. Everything's gonna be okay."_

By the time Ray's latest clash with Frank Zuko is over, he's lost another 1971 Buick Riviera, his colleague Detective Louis Gardino _and_ Irene. Vecchio blames himself, and not without reason.

**14\. Open All Night - You Am I**

_"It's like having your knees cut out from underneath you."_

It's just as well that Fraser and Vecchio are there for each other, whatever happens.

**15\. Buying Time - Great Big Sea**

_"Sometimes you are the most annoying man that I know. There's plenty of times I wanna kill you and I am your best friend."_

Close as the partners are, though, they also drive each other _completely insane_. Especially when Vecchio is feeling under-appreciated next to SuperMountie ~~and Fraser is not giving him any sex00r~~.

**16\. If I Wrote You - Dar Williams**

_"Look, Benny, I don't know if they have a similar thing up there in Canada, but down here in America we have this thing called friendship. And this is something that a friend would do. Like, for example, if one friend calls another friend and he's supposed to meet him at a certain time and a certain place and he can't be there, he usually calls him to let him know."_

One day Fraser heads back to Canada for a holiday spent diving into rivers and pursuing felons. He gets an odd phone call from Vecchio, and when he gets back to the station a spiky blond guy has taken the place of his partner.

It emerges that Ray has been whisked away by the FBI on an undercover mission. He's impersonating Armando Langoustini, a Mafia lieutenant who just happens to bear an uncanny resemblance to Vecchio. While he's away, another Chicago cop is taking his place at the station and as Fraser's unofficial partner. (No, the replacement Vecchio doesn't look anything like the original. Just go with it *g*.)

By the end of the episode, Vecchio's house has been set on fire and his beloved Riv has blown up yet again. Not that he knows about this, since he's stuck in LA and able to communicate with Fraser only by homoerotic postcards. Waaaaaah!

**17\. When I'm Up (I Can't Get Down) - Great Big Sea**

_"I like to shake things up. Routine is the silent killer_

Losing Ray Vecchio was _all_ bad, though, for Fraser or the viewing audience. He's replaced by ... well, he's Stanley Kowalski on his birth certificate, but apparently he was going by his middle name 'Ray' long before taking on the undercover assignment. RayK is a contrast to both Fraser and RayV, in all his twitchy, experimental-haired glory. While he clearly misses his original Ray, Fraser is quick to adopt the new one as his own.

**18\. People Ain't No Good - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds**

_"She was never that big on Christmas ... or me, for that matter."_

Vecchio and Fraser may have had their share of unhappy love affairs, but for sheer long-term obsession it's hard to match Kowalski's relationship with his ex-wife Stella. He's been in love with her since he was just a kid, when he saved her from a bank robber by wetting his pants. (No, really.) After many ups and downs the couple eventually married, then divorced. To say that Kowalski has had trouble getting over this would be like saying that the ocean is slightly damp.

**19\. The Contender - Royal Crown Reveue**

_"On the inside I'm a poet, on the outside, mmph! Shake, bad guys, shake."_

Ray Kowalski is, among other things, a keen boxer and a hell of a dancer. (You're lucky that you're not getting half a dozen songs about this. I guess boxing and dancing are both popular song subjects.) He's also incredibly stubborn, especially when backed into a corner.

**20\. He Lays in the Reins - Iron and Wine**

_"Duty is something you get paid for. This is like voluntary stupidity."_

Fraser, meanwhile, is still married to his job. (As Fraser is a Mountie, I felt there should be at least one song with a horse in it on this soundtrack. It's, like, a metaphor.)

**21\. Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps - Cake**

_"This is what I love about you, Fraser. That real positive you-know-everything's-going-to-work-out-fine kind of attitude. It really butters my muffin."_

Like Vecchio before him, Kowalski sometimes finds working with Fraser stressful, especially when Fraser is asking him to jump off of high things. His frustration over Fraser's failure to ~~sex00r~~ trust him almost dissolves their partnership. Oh noes!

**22\. I Believe I Can Fly - Me First and the Gimme Gimmes**

_"Oh, that's buddy breathing. You seemed to be in a bit of, well, having a problem, and I have excess lung capacity so ..."_

Fortunately, after an adventure involving pirates, emergency swimming lessons and a sailing ship full of Mounties, the two of them are able to, er, repair their relationship. This famously involves ~~underwater kissing~~ buddy breathing.

**23\. Human Kindness - Neil Finn**

_"So we should kill her to avoid any bad press, sir?"_

It's not just his relationship issues that get Kowalski down - like most law-enforcement officials, he has cases that haunt him. When a woman he arrested is due to be executed, Kowalski visits her to make his peace, only to sense that she's innocent of her husband's murder. His quest to prove her innocent leads him to uncover some unpleasant truths. Just as well Fraser is there to provide emotional support and dramatic exposition.

**24\. One For My Baby - Dianne Reeves**

_"For a full year, I am deep undercover, never waiting in line, always getting the best tables at the best restaurants. I live in a 9,000 square foot adobe house at the edge of the desert with a butler named Nero, who brings me buttermilk night and day. And everywhere I go, I sit in the back seat of a black limo with my elbow on the gangster lean, and all this, all this you wipe out with one word!"_

Meanwhile, in Las Vegas, Vecchio is sorry that he is not home with Fraser. At least, he is sorry until he has to go to Chicago making a deal with some local criminals. Fraser is so pleased to see him that he blurts out Ray's _real_ name in front of the wrong people. Goodbye, Las Vegas.

So now Fraser has two Rays, and neither of them are thrilled with the competition.

**25\. The Real Slim Shady - Eminem**

_"I knew you two would hit it off!"_

Will the real Ray Vecchio please stand up?

(Oh, shut up. You're lucky I didn't decide to make a vid.)

**26\. Out of Time - Manic Street Preachers**

_"You kill me, funny guy. I see it's going to take a lot of work to get my reputation back in place."_

Vecchio, though, has been away for a whole year, and Fraser has found himself a new Ray. Does he have room in his heart for two of them?

**27\. Stuck in the Middle With You - The Whitlams**

_"How the hell did we ever work this with Fraser?"_

On the bright side, the two Rays ~~look really hot~~ kick criminal arse together.

**28\. Shadows - Gordon Lightfoot**

_"It's just a flesh wound. God, I've been waiting all my life to say that. It's not as much fun as I thought it would be. Just like old times huh?"_

Proving that he has well and truly returned to his old life, Vecchio gets between Fraser and a bullet and ends up in the hospital, leading to one of the touching sickbed scenes that are traditional between those two.

**29\. Bizarre Love Triangle - Frente!**

_"You ever feel like you don't know who you are? Like if you weren't around somebody or had somebody wasn't around you, that you wouldn't be you. Or at least not the you that you think you are. You know, you ever feel like that?"_

Poor Ray Kowalski, though, is feeling lost since Vecchio came back to reclaim his name, his life and his Mountie. Assuming he will be abandoned in favour of the original model, he wonders how he can define his identity at all.

**30\. I've Got A Plan - My Friend the Chocolate Cake**

_"Well, Ray, that's the really exciting part of this plan. There are no parachutes."_

Benton Fraser, however, is not the kind of man who abandons a guy just because his original partner is back in town. He sets out with Kowalski for the frozen north in pursuit of criminals, and the two of them bond even more while travelling across the Canadian ice fields.

**31\. Got A Suitcase, Got Regrets - Tom McRae**

_"You're making me dizzy."_

Back in Chicago recovering from his bullet wound, Vecchio is among those left waiting anxiously for news of the missing Fraser and Kowalski. A meeting with Kowalski's ex-wife Stella quickly leads to romance between the two. The last we we hear is that Vecchio moved to Florida with her and opened a bowling alley. (Unlike many of the events in these notes, that is _exactly_ as random as it seems out of context.)

**32\. That's Freedom - John Farnham**

_"Look, we're hundreds of miles from nowhere in a frozen wasteland and you're grinning like an idiot."_

With the criminals brought to justice, his father's ghost finally laid to rest and Vecchio fixed up with Stella, Fraser is finally free to return to his native land. Ray Kowalski, having nothing to keep him in Chicago, accompanies Fraser and Dief on a quest to find the lost hand of the explorer Frankin, as the official credits roll on the series ...

**33\. Song For A Winter's Night - Sarah McLachlan**

_"I mean, it's just one of those special cases where alone we're incomplete, but together we're better than we are separately. You know what I mean?"_

If you're a Fraser/Kowalski type I imagine that was a perfect ending. But in my head, at least, the Stella/Vecchio thing is probably not a great idea in the long term, and Fraser misses his _other_ Ray. (Hey, this is an OT3 soundtrack.)

**34\. I Know the Reason - Carbon Leaf**

_"I think you've been given a chance to try and get it right."_

... and then they ALL LIVE HAPPILY EVERY AFTER. Maybe they fight about what to put on their pizza, and Ray and Ray sometimes punch each other in the face, and Fraser continues to drive them both insane, but basically HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

**Bonus Track: The Mountie Song - The Arrogant Worms**

Apart from starring a Mountie and two heavily-armed Americans, this song has nothing to do with _due South_. It's just really, really funny.


End file.
